So here we are! I know you are probably chomping at the bit to hug the crap out of us and thank you for holding back. It’s been a funny trip so far. I’m typing this from Lovely Andy Hall’s (that is his new title). This man has graciously babysat our house, our water tank, our mail and been our touchstone in the north. What a lovely man.
Anyway, that’s not what I intended to write. I wanted to address the whole illness thing. Ruby doesn’t have much of an immune system. So on the flight here a guy walking down the aisle of the plane towards the barn bathroom (ahhhh….the hierarchy of Air Canada flights) hit the deck in a very heavy faint while slurring “I’m not feelin so gooooooood”. Then he proceeded to tell the boys directly in front of us (about where his head was lying down) about his horrible flu that had attacked him from all angles. I sat there thinking “what the hell? Is this your sense of humour, universe???”. Fortunately Ruby and I and one Japanese lady were wearing masks but I tell ya, I didn’t let her touch a seat on the way out. I’ve never been so paranoid about germs before. It’s exhausting. For both our kids. I think I say “take your fingers out of your nose and mouth” about 10000 times a day.
Here we are back home and it’s surreal and weirdly normal. Part of that normal is the midnight snack/wakeup call by the boy and Ruby telling me that she wants to sleep ALONE for once in her room. She’s a very independent little creature. I’m guessing it’s entirely possible that she’s somewhat like me. When I’m sick or dealing with heavy berries I need to be left alone to bull through it. In the hospital we are attached to one another all the time and I’m sure it wears on her as much as me.
I had to tell you a bit about how my life was before kids. I had them late. Ruby came along when I was 37 and I had some serious naiveties (is that a word?) about kids. See I thought they were really boring, dirty and naughty. I thought that my party nights left my days really difficult to weather. I would go for brunch with “those friends with kids” feeling like utter crap and thinking how there was no way I’d sign on to the baby train. It just seemed sooooooo unrewarding. I figured I didn’t want to be woken up in the morning with sticky hands.
Well, I guess I got the sticky hands part right. But the arrival time is off by a couple of hours. Try 3 am. And how the heck does he have sticky hands? From WHAT exactly at 3 am?? And what was I thinking about – tough mornings? After a night of partying? Wow, ok my life was nothing compared to this. How bout so little sleep you are in a continual state of the resigned smile and attempts at moments of zen during the day that are either mini strokes or mini naps.
But I wouldn’t trade the complexity and upside down’dness of this life for any other. Despite our trials and struggles and dangers and bizarreness. this family is amazingly fun. From the 3 am wake ups to the times Ruby has turned to me in the hospital in her lowest hours and smiles faintly and says to me “mom, I think the angels are in the room.” I have learned more from letting love in my life than 100 degrees at uni would have ever given me.
I probably won’t post again for a while. If you want to get in touch with us, ring my cell but we don’t have the internet at home so I won’t be responding in a timely manner via email/posts. Thanks for giving us our space and remembering that any illness could send us back to Vancouver in a hurry. We love you and appreciate all the work and time you’ve done to make our lives wonderful. And Laundry Lady, you know who you are, you are simply simply incredibly kind. Thank you.