Down the rabbit hole

4am, massive vomiting and spikey fever.

I hadn’t actually gone to bed yet.  I was trying to push a bit more food into her to try and get us past the 650 calories a day mark that we’d been able to achieve.  Actually, this is an arbitrary assignment of calories. When Brian can drink what we make Ruby and not eat until dinner with little weight loss (sorry Brian :)) and LOTS of energy, I’m thinking simple calorie calculations aren’t what they are cracked up to be.  They don’t take into consideration the actual energy that food gives us.  Our comprehension of how the body works seems more and more limited the more I research what we DO know. 

Anyhoo, Ruby is sleeping now, very pale.  I’m back down to pushing 25 mls per hour. We had her up to 40 but well, time to back off I suppose.  Her counts are still at zero, things are still tricky.  She’s on a bunch of meds now, the antinausea meds (as well as ginger in every feed), the anti-fungal meds, the antibiotics, the anti dehydrator, get the pattern? 

So if you have any spare goojoo’s to send, please send them to the ether to channel to this little tiny girl who is sitting at 19.4 kgs, is almost 8 yrs old and is very very pale.  I’m trying not to worry.  The wolf still guards the door.  Thanks to the very vocal Italian family in the next room (which btw is chockers full of love and good energy), the cleaners have changed their approach to our two rooms.  It’s the cleanest it’s ever been.  It’s amazing to me that cleanliness is the first step to health and eliminating the spread of disease but our hospitals are shamefully filthy.

much love



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