After a yearly dose of Scrooge…

I’ve always loved redeemable characters. Scrooge. The king of them all. The movie I torture my family with every year. Fortunately, Ruby gets it so for her it’s not painful. She said her favourite character is the ghost of Christmas Present. “He looks like Daddy and he’s the happiest person in the movie!” I’m 100% Alistair Sims.

I guess I’ve always felt tormented (internally not externally) and hoped that one day something would redeem me, turn me from my narcissistic self into a kind, generous, light soul.

I suppose I’ve had my visits. My ghosts to remind me to stay in the moment and find the joy. Ruby’s year of illness and recovery has been fraught with trauma for all of us yet blessed us with many miracles. We are a year past now. I can’t recall exactly but I think we were released on the 28th of December last year from Ruby’s first round of chemo.

“She is not changed by the harshness of the world
but you are.” (Ghost of Christmas Present)

I struggle. Daily. Only now am I getting brave enough to talk to people at any length, to smile more freely, to walk less fearfully.

“These are the shadows of the things that have been. They are what they are.” (Ghost of Christmas Past)

It’s all about perspective. Perspective, perspective, perspective.

I opened with some photos so you can see some joyous moments. Free from pain, free from illness. My two children love each other so much that when they fight they make up and apologize without prompting. The kids remind us to hold hands at supper and say what we are thankful for in that moment.

As we grownups struggle to contextualize and restructure, redefine, and rebuild; they hug, love and sing without pause. All I know is that the focus is love. Pure and simple. As simple as a piggyback, as simple as a cuddled sneeze. As simple as a darned sock and a perfectly cooked moose roast. Love is in all these actions. Without expectation, without judgment. And always, always faith that on Christmas Day (western or Ukrainian – we get two hurrah!) Scrooge wakes up and is redeemed into joy and a renewed faith in love.

To all of us out there struggling with the feeling that Christmas Day did not again bring this transformation and retraining, “Go and redeem a younger, more promising creature…” (Scrooge) I prescribe a yearly dose of Alistair Sim’s Scrooge. Black and white. If you are Holling, you will just say its weird.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s